Let’s Talk About Fears Baby – As Seen on @kas27rising

In a quest to introduce different voices to this blog, here is my “Lifestyle Kaytee” persona – talking about feelings with the reopening of San Diego in May 2020 as we try to get through this COVID-19 pandemic as safely as possible. 
Originally appeared on kasrising.


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Setting the scene. Intellectually (aka mentally) speaking:

We are moving toward re-opening of businesses in San Diego (and Ocean Beach, phase 2 plans). Now, it’s seemingly okay to hang out again? Kinda sorta not really though. Maybe, but be a safe apart and stay distanced and try not to sneeze on each other or tap each other on the shoulder or touch anything the other one touches or pet each other’s dog or sit on the sand or grass (or ocean?) together…?

In all seriousness, here is a recent update (as of 5/23/20) from the CDC as reported by NBC on how coronavirus (aka COVID-19) spreads. And here are the top three things you can to do avoid the spread:

  1. Social distancing
  2. Good hygiene
  3. Wearing your mask when you are in public
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On the emotional side.

This is giving me anxiety. I’m realizing how the way I’ve adapted to COVID has been by being extremely isolated — agoraphobic, almost. The good news is that I’ve gotten comfortable spending a lot of time alone, something I’d never been able to do before (for fear I would overindulge and explode). I’ve also just created an art space by having almost a picnic-like setting with lots of colorful flowery pillows and plankets. (That’s a blatant misspelling but I kind of like that work so let’s go with it 🙂 ).

On my fears on the physical-environmental side: and then what happened after I challenged my physical surroundings

The beautiful connections I saw outside of Blue Water Grill (Mid-May, 2020)

I started seeing more clusters of people during my walk with Milo,

Making it hard to keep the 6′ distance and my “mask” aka dish towel kept falling down my face,

Rendering me vulnerable of spreading my germs to others.

It freaked me out. But I didn’t want to be freaked out by people. Cuz that’s not cool.

So I decided to challenge myself in walking a bit further amidst the crowds

I walked into Wahine’s a local surf shop and bought some new sandals cuz it felt good

To interact with people and engage with people,

Even with masks and window spit guards between us

Even with me shuddering as I saw the very nice manager’s long nails grasp onto my card

And asking, “Is that pen properly sanitized?” before signing my receipts like George Costanza and/or Larry David.

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But it felt good to connect and support local businesses and in the end, was worth it.

After that, I decided to challenge myself further.

I wanted to get a better sense as to how OB was shifting and evolving and changing

With the re-opening of places

I also wanted to stay in the sunshine with a view of the ocean (but under a roof cuz that sounded nice)

So I ventured over to Blue Water Seafood Grill to order some fish tacos and a glass of sauv.

I was irritated at first, because again, people were kind of close and I was nervous about engaging with them and accidentally passing something on.

But the girl at the counter, when she got to me, was super confident as she handled multiple phone, in-person orders at once and did it with a relaxed (glad to be back) smile on her face.

And she gave me a biiiig pour of sauv blanc in a paper coke cup

And told me it was chill to just hang for awhile.

Then she saw her buds at the restaurant next door.

“When are you guys gonna re-open?” She asked a manager at Wonderland Ocean Pub.

I didn’t hear the response, but it sat in my heart that there is a beautiful community

Of hard workers who have colleagues and friends and probably a work family that I’m sure they’ve been missing during COVID.

And even though this virus and the thought of potentially spreading it scares me

I’m glad to see cool and kind people back to work

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Serving the community which we are so grateful for

And hopefully, these vital pulsations of our sublime, little beach town,

Will be able to make up for lost time and start rebuilding again.

Businesses of OB,

Welcome back and thank you. ❤